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Reader's Dilemma: Help! My Boyfriend Has Online Dating Profile!,My Boyfriend Still Has an Active Online Dating Profile!

Smitten. Reader's Dilemma: Help! My Boyfriend Has Online Dating Profile! Yikes! One of our sweet readers just sent us this perplexing email. Her boyfriend is signed up for an online  · Jess Jones January 27, I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 weeks, we emailed through for about a week prior to actually meeting. When we are together it’s as if AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now! ... read more

What does this mean? I want to be able to trust that he means what he says. How do I talk about the fact that my boyfriend still has an active online dating profile without turning him off? First, rest assured that at the start of a relationship, many people keep their profiles open and check incoming emails. What about you? In this short conversation, you simply state how you feel about him without any false promises of the future , and you also let him know what you want from him.

Be prepared for any response. You need to be clear about that before you have the conversation. Remember that a guy may take longer to shut down his profile, even when you are exclusive. Be a woman of value who speaks up and knows her bottom line about how she wants to be treated.

The right guy will step it up. The wrong one will walk away. Your email address will not be published. It kills me because he swears it by god! But i dnt know if its all togther true! Help me please is he cheating on me over the internet???? The guy and I met on eHarmony shortly after we both signed up, in early July. With their payment system, however, we both have to continue to pay until September. But he texted me tonight in the middle of our conversation telling me that he updated his with new photos!

His excuse was that he had to pay until September no matter what true and that he did it just because. Too bad for him that he was stupid enough to tell me what he did without me even asking or snooping lol. com for about a week prior to actually meeting.

com profile down. At pm I made the mistake of logging on to Match. My heart sank. I just feel as if I deserve the truth— if he wants to keep looking for something better, then I should be too. com and yes he was online everyday and active even when we where physically dating? what was his username on match? maybe we were dating the same stupid guy! I dated the pig too. OMG,,i feel everything that has been spoken about here.

Iam older,,59,,dating a 54 year old. At 3months i asked him why hes still on the dating sight where we met,,he yelled at me,,said nothing to worry about,,said he doesnt talk to anyone,,so i said well then its just like looking through a imaginer then,,he said yes. Well i surest he remove his pic then,,as no one will write to u with no pic. I check back in 3 more months and pics still there. I left him for one week. I also went on a dinner date,,i told him of this,,and i was given roses from my date.

We are back together,,he has never told me that he removed his profile,but i have checked twice now,,its gone,,or hes just removed the picture. Which will work for now. Why do men feel the need to look,,he tells me he loves me,,we talk of moving in together,,i see him 4days a week. Two of them i sleep over. Whats going to happen with long term? I have been seeing him now for 7months.

I was very hurt by this,,i was so disrespected as a women,,and i told him i closed my account,,and one day i put my pics back up,,he emailed me on this sight to say,,you look great. What the hell is wrong with these men? WEll only time will tell. I almost walk away for good. I was just so hurt,,and it gave me reasons to not trust,,at my age i dont need or want that kind of trust in my life. Good luck to all of you both men and women. Go with ur gut in stinks. When u love someone,,its tough,,i know.

Then I went on a date with a guy who told me about how many scam emails from women he gets from Russia, ect…. I had been told this before but had forgotten. without even logging onto Match at all…. I do not have a very big social life,to me dating sites are alternatives to meet some one. I has the same issue with my ex for 7 months he even gave me a promise ring and he tols me he loves me and i am the only one he wants,my cousin opens an account on pof the same site where i met him,and guess who was there active?

my ex….. i felt so dirty,betrayed and all the time,money and stress i invested in those 7 months were down the toilet. Now i have a trust issue with everyone else because of this matter. Please women out there we deserve better,take your time to know well who you are dating,there are many bad,heart less men out there…. just do not put your heart in an relationship if you are not sure about the other person background,records and love life. A cheater will be always a cheater ….

Life is short live your life to the fullest ……god bless. Why go to a dating site to look for friends while monogamous? Look into a healthy interest group on meet up dot com or your local church, for example. Looking for FRIENDS on a site dedicated to matching people up to DATE is opportunity to — Well, DATE.

Trust is believing in someone to treat you with respect. Going to a dating site is disrespectful to the one with whom you are monogamous.

If you want out or are thinking about it — get out before you are tempted to check things out. I am currently going through this we have been dating for 6 months and had plenty of talks on my boyfriend being online daily.

He did change his profile to hang out only. I met what I thought was a nice, normal guy. We were both on match met there then talked further when we got on plenty of fish site.

After dating for a couple months, I deleted y profile from match and pof. i was devastated. He shrugged it off, saying that he was just flirting, or being friendly, because they messaged him first, anyway, i started dating him again I know, stupid!! trying not to let myself get serious, just casual, but then i saw an email he sent to an old girlfriend wanting to know when they could get together! left him again, went back again….

now i saw a missed call on his cell phone from another ex-girlfriend, who he claims is just a friend and tried to act like I was some crazy jealous insane, person.

I am finally done. I never thought I could be so gullible, naive. I really am not meeting anyone that I like at all, so I guess I thought I had to settle, but life is too short. Its narcissistic pathological abuse to you. Read up on it before you end up a casualty of some of the sickest EFFERS on that site. i have the same problem, when we met, he closed his profile, and we spent around 7 months good, then suddenely, I found his profile active, and I got mad and told him, he said, he just keep it but he does not look to anyone, he closed again and I forgave him, he changed said to me manytime that he will come to enagage me,for the last one he did not and again he opened his profile again,,, I got mad for the third time, and I sent him a msg, he said that person is his friend.

but I feel it was him. The question is, What should I do? Why do I see him an innocent in my dreams everytime I think to leave him? Wow, the same thing happened to me. He had two profiles on POF.. He denied it saying one of his friend knew we were having trouble and signed him up for the site. That he had to investigate to find out who it was.

The profile came down the next day. Ironically everytime he was online the profile on POF was active as well. He has his relationship status on Facebook as being in a relationship with me; but you set it on privacy setting and I think he has it set to where only he and I can see that..

So if it walks talks and acts like a duck…. De Je Vu GET RID OF HIM. I went out with a guy I met online and he seemed nice and we got serious…well it was for a couple of months. Then I had an instinct to look online and found him back on line…questioned this. just looking for friends…rubbish. ANYONE who stays or goes back on a dating site is LOOKING for a new VICTIM!! lol sorry but thats the way it is. If they have no money or home etc they are looking for someone else to give it to them.

BEWARE of these people…there may be a few who are genuine…but.. do you really want a LOSER or risk all you have worked and possibly allready fought for put at risk.

Unfortunately the INTERNET is full of USERS, not the least dating sites. ANYWAY this looser is now communicating with a young women who looks 18 says she is 28 lives overseas and lets face it.. is she who she says she is? Probably not…I suspect a case of stolen identity and he is about to be scammed big time. What would a young attractive woman want with a balding, fat, impotent and self centered man??? I am now laughing at him!!! Good luck to all Internet Daters and BE CAREFUL.

TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING TO KNOW A PERSON, AND DO AS MANY CHECKS AS POSSIBLE. I think you need to let him know that he needs to stop doing this. Letting a friend use the account is no excuse or at least a very poor one.

His friend could create a free profile…no need to use his. Sounds like a pretty weak excuse to me. This just happened to me two days ago for a second time with a guy I was seeing for 7 months. We met online and a couple months ago I checked the site to see if he still had his profile up. He did. I texted him and he called me to explain why.

I asked he take down his profile…. For shame I let this slide and continued to see him until recently. He played the image of a sweet, witty, sensitive guy that had lots of female friends. there were many red flags that I ignored. What do you do when the guy you have been dating for over four years still has an active match. com site up? I recently moved in with my boyfriend of over four years and was using his computer.

I saw he had recently been on match. Do I confront him or just ignore it. Everything else is great. People like that are selfish, arrogant, users, I feel he used me as he could not find anyone else to stay long enough with him and tolerate him. I did, but now I rather be alone than be used. Um…I think I would talk to him about it. so, similar story here except the guy i have been dating has stated he wants to take things slow and get to know me deeper over time, etc…. suggesting that he is interested long term.

we talk every night and go out when our custody arrangements allow…however, after dating 4 months, he is still online every day. I am not sure what to think really, other than it makes me feel like i would be 2nd choice.

How do you suggest brining up this topic without being completely accusatory with someone? I am having similar issues as these women…. I have been seeing someone for 4 months, we have had the talk about being boyfriend and girlfriend — which we now are. A few weeks ago, I noticed it was 3 days in a row. It was driving me crazy, so I said something.

I asked him if he was still looking for someone and he said no, that he had gotten a few emails from a woman out of our state and just read them. He has not been on there since, but has not deleted it yet either. I also found out that he uses Flirt and Are You Interested through Facebook and it appears that on one of those sites he was recently active, although I am not sure how long it takes to not log into the account for it to say otherwise.

I am not sure what to do or how long to wait to ask him about not deleting his account and also how to ask him about his other accounts. Things have been going wonderful aside from this, he seems very genuine and kind, not the type of person to cheat at all. All of his past relationships were very long term.

He talks of a future with me, so I am stumped on how to handle this, help please!! same thng. he told me hs nt datng or seing anybody bt lately he said he needs to go to gym etc! i knw hes online a lot a day. whats the point? simply bec he wntd to check and flirt and meet othr women. so sad and broken heartd. My ex boyfriend of 13 months flirted with women all the time, though I never felt threatened until a year into the relationship.

His feelings had changed, he was flirting with a woman by text on his phone whose name he was lying about. I read the messages and confronted him, and he used the excuse that he did not cheat, flirts all the time, but he is also very insecure with himself and his age.

We all flirt, sure, but this I consider cyber cheating. The other woman does not know that a girlfriend exists, and he thinks he is allowed and that it is not disrespectful. We, of course, broke up, and he can now continue to look for whatever he thinks he deserves but will never find.

com like mine was. I have the exact opposite problem.. Perhaps, you, Brad, can help me out and explain this. I met this guy a little over 3 weeks ago on POF… After going out every day for about 10 days, talking on the phone daily several times a day, and texting in between he complained that I still had a profile up on POF so did he. I removed my profile; he HID his!!! and continued logging on daily!!! Then we had a discussion about being exclusive including removing profiles, etc.

He did remove his profile from POF and match. what do you think about this, Brad? To me this sounds like some trust issues on his part that go deeper than the visibility of a dating profile. You were co-operative which again makes me think he just feels insecure. I too am going through a similar issue. I have been with my guy for almost two years. Well his last stint out of town really had the jealousy wheels turning, for the reason mentioned above, as well as his recent induction into the world of Facebook in which I am nowhere to be found on his profile mentioned as a girlfriend or a picture and he listed he is interested in….

Maybe and advertisement? He read the mail, which was someone winking at him. No picture or other information and right after creating and logging in yesterday, he unsubscribed from emails.

But did not delete his account. Glad to know there are others out there but it saddens me to know that this seems to be so common amongst mostly men. If nothing comes of the browsing, is it worth mentioning and possibly creating a huge fight over? I think I just found my answer, as hard as it is to swallow.

If I went browsing on dating site, my wife would punch me in the nose and I support her in that decision. Why look at real people in your area and be tempted to contact them? There are issues with Match. com where if he were to open an email it can show him logged in without his know but…explaining away three different services is about impossible to do.

I really just wanna punch him the face!!! After my emotional abusive ex broke up with me I looked into his emails as I thought there was more to it. We lived together for two years. Anyway I saw an email he and his friend were sending eachother. And how he has to man up and give me the breakup speech. He met the ex before me on there and I asked him which one they met on and he said he forgot.

And he always deleted his browser history. I hate to say it but I am glad that I am not the only one to have been in this horrible position. Ladies, this is just pitiful. We are strong and wonderful creatures so can we please start to act like it? This goes for me, too. After all, in my mind it is much, much better to be single and happy than to be with someone who makes you feel inadequate, insecure and overall lonely.

I met a guy a year ago off match. For about months it was on and off. We went a great mount of time not seeing each other or talking. Over the summer we just randomly stopped talking. This past September he initiated contact and we have been dating ever since.

We talk on the phone every day and see each other times a week. In November I texted him and told him I really liked him and needed to know if he saw this going somewhere. He said he really liked me too and that he was going with the flow. He said he is always busy and tired from work which he is , but would like to see each other more and see where it goes. I asked if he was dating anyone else and he said no. I assumed after this conversion we were exclusive.

The past three weeks he has been extremely busy more than usual and I have only seen him once. Some friends suggested that maybe he was dating other girls and recommended I check if he was still on match. I reactivated my account yesterday, and looked him up, and sure enough he had logged on the day before. I checked again and he was online again today. Im so heartbroken since we have known each other for almost a year now.

I am currently going through what everyone on here has. This is the third guy I have dated that has done this. I am about ready to confront him about it when he comes down this weekend. He should not be surprised after all he is the one who said he would delete his. I just reactivated mine. I am waiting to see if he says anything about it.

WALK AWAY. Exclusivety if that is a word is what any serious relationship is about. There are somewhere guys who ARE looking for a serious relationship. COME ON GIRLS —-give them short shift if they stay online!!! Go online yourself then give him the flick!! Met on fitness-singles. Emailed for two months. Scheduled a visit to see me. Prior to his visit, my subscription ended, so I hid my profile so as not to get any more emails, though I did get some from previous corresponders.

I logged in now and then, and noticed for about a week his was still on. Another week goes by and his profile is gone. Clearly hidden. So then I got to checking his activity, while I was hidden. Silly cat and mouse. What do you make of that? I know why mine is hidden and active now — checking on his activity. I wonder why his is hidden and active… any ideas other than he could be doing the same as I am?

Anyway, we finally met in my state a couple of weekends ago. This is his typical MO from before we met, I just thought after meeting, claiming he had a great time, wants me to visit, wants to come back that he would contact more.

Thoughts anyone? I really can only guess but I do think hiding the profile is a great first step. so I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. A year into our relationship I found out that the same week he met me he had a one night stand and she became pregnant as the result. I had a very hard time accepting this and I will admit it took me a long time to get over it.

Also in the same month he became a father he took a vacation to Australia for a week to visit a long time female friend, who paid for the trip.

I did not approve of this trip since she had told him in the past that she thought she was in love with him. He explained to me that she was married and had a family and her husband knew that he was coming to visit. So again I had to get over it. About a year and a half onto our relationship I found that he had not signed out of his email so I started reading them. I couldnt believe my eyes! Messages from all kinds of women.

So he took me to pick out a engagement ring and I forgave him. Now were two years into the relationship, I have never received the ring, I think he went and got his deposit back, and today I found him on a dating website.

Hi Brad, I met my boyfriend from Okcupid. He even have dreams and plans for our future. On our first month of our relationship, he introduced me to his family who were took a vacation here in US they from Ireland. Regarding for sex, we usually have sex 3 times a week, thus, this really puzzled me. I also found this out that his lying that he will remove his account the said dating site. Brad, I need your advice. Vhalotte — I wrote another article that expanded on this topic that you can see here: His Profile is Still Active — Is He Interested or Not?

I do think you need to bring this up with him. I have been dating a guy for a year and a half — met through friends. We talked about marriage — we already have kids from prior realationships. I recently found out hes on a dating website — no pic, not paying account. I know his passwords so when i checked it, i found out that he browes pictures, and emailed 4 woman. He received many emails but he cant open since hes not a paying user.

Should I confront him? Is this something men do just in their spare time, browse? Is it cheating? I sent a note to POF to let them know that could cause problems! See if they fix it…. Another thing to consider — I may be wrong, but Match. com site. com and it does appear that it can show you active just by opening emails from them.

However, this only happens if the profile is visible which often is the real problem. Thanks for the clarification about Match. Internet dating certainly does complicate life…. but, I did manage to avoid a lot of heartache thanks to FB and a computer illiterate user. The REAL story ~ he had jumped into a relationship with me, way too fast, and instead of being honest, he made up this story.

has tried singlesnet. Saved me all that misery…… a good thing! I have been dating the same girl for almost 7 months now and her excuse for being online was originally that she wanted to try and get her 6 month guarantee money from Match. She told me this when were at the 4 month mark of dating. We are both in our 40s so game playing time should have been up long ago. She acted offended that I would confront her about it and said she would take it down.

Brads May 13, comments are very pertinent to my situation. Bottom line is this type of thing goes both ways. WOMEN PLAY GAMES TOO!!! Hi Jay I agree Women Play Games Too…. but we are not seeing a lot of comments from you GUYS on this space.

Please Guys write Your Experience on here too, so at least we genuine women will have faith again.. that there are serious guys out there too….. Well I definitely know that this happens to guys too because it is currently happening to me right now.

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 2 months now and I know for a fact that his dating profile is still active on the site me met on. It told me the time that comment was made and it turns out that he made that comment weeks after we had started dating. So I confronted him about it and he got upset that I had been snooping. He said that the only reason he posted that was because the other guy said something nice about one of his pictures.

So after a evening of arguing over the phone I ended up being the one who was apologizing for trying to undermine our relationship with distrust. So I told him I would delete my account so that this whole nightmare would be over….. do you think he had the courtesy to delete his too….. nope here we are another month later and it still says single and he still logs onto it daily i can see it without having an account.

I feel so confused right now and soooooo sick to think what he could be doing all of the time. We communicate with each other daily over the phone, video chatting, texting….. because we are in a long-distance relationship. He always tells me how much he loves me and our relationship is going so well…. this hurts so bad and I am so afraid to lose him….. but it seems like addressing this issue is the only way to know for sure. I just wish people would think about how much this kind of stuff really hurts the ones they claim to love so much 🙁.

Kick these morons — women OR men to the curb. The answer is obvious. He is looking for better options. Serial daters. READ about this online.

GOOGLE narcissistic online daters. These men and women have red flags a flying. If YOU feel their behavior is inherently questionable, trust your instinct. This was supposedly his FIRST online dating venture.

BS he has been on every site out there which is fine but to LIE about it along with age and criminal history — lets say I am still paying for who he pretended to be and who he actually IS. He leaves behind a path of ex gfs and a wife who know they should have trusted what should be obvious: bad behavior is BAD behavior and no smooth talking over and over will change the inherent insanity of his always looking for the golden fleece women.

DO NOT end up giving them the benefit of the doubt — you will lose your self esteem, question the golden rules you knew in kindergarten and everything that should be upright is upside down.

I have been through HELL with this man who is addicted to attention whoring by ANYONE. He treated me like CRAP, lied about his age and his intent.

DO NOT listen to what they say — the dichotomy is in their ACTIONS which is what people should be paying attention to. Not the words. I found this out because I snooped. Suspicious activity had to be followed up on. Anyways, I made a fake profile. send a flirt-mail. Got one back.

One of our sweet readers just sent us this perplexing email. Her boyfriend is signed up for an online dating site and she's not sure what to do…. I recently saw my boyfriend's email inbox, he checks his e-mail on my laptop and I'm usually right there and while he was checking it, I glanced over and noticed e-mails from a XXX "match making" website.

Later on I went and checked out the website and his profile and was in complete shock at what I found. He had a profile set up, without pictures, and wasn't completely truthful about some of the stuff he had put down.

I'm trying not to worry because maybe he just made it before we were dating, but I still can't help to wonder "what if Thanks for reaching out! So sorry you're in the middle of a rather sticky situation, my dear. Before you decide to do anything, talk with your boyfriend. Simply tell him what you've told us—without using an accusatory tone—and see what he has to say. However, I'd hold off on telling your man you did some reconnaissance work by visiting the actual site and poking around his profile page.

No one likes to feel spied on, especially if it turns out that he simply forgot he even signed up for the dating site. Because he doesn't have pictures up, it seems safe to say he's not actively looking for potential dates. It's quite possible that he created the profile before you two started dating and just never bothered to take it down.

As a matter of fact, some time ago, I was doing research for a story and created an online dating profile. I never put a picture up, nor did I provide any personal information. Really, I had signed up just to see what the site's user interface looked like. So even though I never actively participated on this site, I still get emails every now and then encouraging me to check out single "compatible" guys in my area.

I'm guessing that by saying "XXX match making' website" you're referring to one of the dating sites but just not listing the name. However, if the site you're referring to is triple X-rated, then that's a bit different. Bring up your initial concerns about why he might be signed up for a dating service and then express your feelings about him being signed up with something so racy. Is it normal for guys to keep profiles up after they've started relationships? That's hard to say.

I'm sure some guys keep them up because they've forgotten about them. And still, some guys might keep them up because they're total sleaze balls and want to keep their options open. Every guy is different so you just need to check with yours to see what's really going on.

What do you ladies think our reader should do? Have you ever found yourselves in a similar situation? Or maybe you signed up for an online dating site and forgot your profile and forgot to unsubscribe from the service? Texting on a Date: How Much Is Too Much? My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Be in a Relationship. Should I Wait for Him to Come Around? Relationships: When Is Taking A Break A Good Idea? Visit ShopGlamour.

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My Boyfriend Still Has an Active Online Dating Profile!,

AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now! Smitten. Reader's Dilemma: Help! My Boyfriend Has Online Dating Profile! Yikes! One of our sweet readers just sent us this perplexing email. Her boyfriend is signed up for an online  · Jess Jones January 27, I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 weeks, we emailed through for about a week prior to actually meeting. When we are together it’s as if ... read more

I reactivated my account yesterday, and looked him up, and sure enough he had logged on the day before. I met up with one guy for brunch one day, that was it. We all flirt, sure, but this I consider cyber cheating. My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Be in a Relationship. If it says online while he is with me then it could indicate something fishy going on with Match. Anyways, I made a fake profile.

I was assured that if someone had a highlighted profile, they were a paid subscriber. We agreed if someone wanted to pursue others they should. I did, but now I rather be alone than be used. I never saw it as a little thing but always said that it was not changing him or who he was, boyfriend created online dating profile. My advice is to stick with the relationship but have a goal of understanding where he is at in regard to being committed to one another.